You Won't be Needing That
by BattyCore
Summary: Kenny spends the night at Craig's to avoid his parents. Shortish, drabbleish, Crenny. :3


"Ugh, are you really going to stay here tonight? You know how much I hate being a 'host' and shit," Craig says.

Kenny nods, arms held high above his head in a stretch. "No way I'm going home tonight; do you know what day it is? As much as my parents hate each other, they fucking fuck like rabbits on their anniversary."

Craig gives an exasperated sigh, too tired to argue properly. "But my bed isn't even big enough to fit both of us."

Kenny smirks at that and gives a small giggle. "You underestimate me, Tucker," he says cheekily.

Craig just rolls his eyes, used to Kenny's tactless flirting. He _should _be used to it by now, what with all the time they've been spending together.

It all started with a school project they'd been assigned to work together on. They didn't exactly hate each other at that point, more like ignored the other's existence entirely. Being that they were essentially strangers, the project had moved slowly and was half-assed because they didn't really want to work together.

One day, though, Kenny had decided to take the initiative and invite Craig over to work on the project over the weekend. Kenny _needed_ this grade, and he wasn't about to let their half-assery ruin that.

Craig had agreed, so there they were, sitting on Kenny's bedroom floor, working silently through a few reference books. Kenny attempted to make small talk, but talking to Craig Tucker was like talking to a fucking stone wall. Eventually Kenny got fed up trying to bond with his project partner and lit up a joint to unwind. Silence isn't quite as loud when you're high.

When Craig held out an expectant hand for a pass, Kenny grinned and congratulated himself for finally finding some common ground with Stone Wall Tucker. Ever since then, they've been getting high together near every day and getting into all sorts of trouble.

And today, Craig's buzz is already starting to wear off and he really doesn't feel like entertaining any guests. "Okay fine, but you owe me a free dime for my babysitting services."

"My _ass_, I own you a dime!" Kenny says, raising an offended eyebrow. "I'm giving you pleasant company, not forcing myself into your home. Besides, I let you mooch off me all the time, asshat. How often do you actually _buy_ these days? If anything, _you're_ the one who owes _me_."

"Ugh, whatever, fine, fuck you too," Craig forfeits with another roll of his eyes and a raised middle finger.

They change for sleep in relative silence, putting on their respective pajama pants. Craig grabs a little plastic box from on top of his dresser and starts toward his bedroom door.

"Wait, where are you going?" Kenny asks, a little louder than necessary.

"Does that really matter? I'm going to brush my teeth," Craig says, looking at Kenny like _can I go now, Mom?_

"What's in the box?" Kenny presses, stretching his neck to try and see what's in Craig's hand.

Craig quirks an irritated brow. "My retainer? What's with the 20 questions?"

"Don't put your retainer in," Kenny says, oddly demanding. No, not quite demanding… More like requesting?

"Why the flying Hell not?" Craig asks, becoming thoroughly annoyed.

Kenny's lip twitches as he resists a smirk. "Because it will get in the way," he says.

"Get in the way of _what_, exactly?" Craig demands, even though he already has a vague idea of where this is going.

Kenny stops resisting and leers over at Craig. "My tongue when I put the moves on you tonight."

Craig shakes his head in exasperation, covering his face with his hand. "Okay one, you're tongue will never be in my mouth. And two, I'm going to suffocate you with a pillow in your sleep."

Kenny's bottom lip pushes out in a pout. "Why are you such a prude all the time? We've been hanging out for what, two months now? You obviously have a boner for me because, let's face it, who doesn't? When are you going to give up this 'untouchable' act and let me have you?"

Craig doesn't even dignify that with a response before he leaves the room. Several minutes later, he returns to find Kenny sprawled out on Craig's bed. "Kenny, either move the fuck over or you're sleeping downstairs," he says flatly. He's really too tired for this shit. Smoking has always made him a little drowsy.

Kenny scooches toward the wall, looking honestly a little dejected. He slips under the blankets as Craig turns off the light. Craig all but drops himself onto his mattress with an exaggerated sigh. He pulls his covers up over his shoulders and rolls to face away from Kenny.

Kenny eyes Craig in the darkness, trying to figure out just how to crack this cookie. Verbal harassment is a no go, obviously. He'd probably get castrated if he just straight up started touching Craig. Or… maybe not? Kenny's never tried to physically advance on Craig, what with Craig's treats of violence and all.

Never one to really think things through properly, Kenny shuffles toward Craig and forms himself to Craig's backside, wrapping an arm around his waist. "You should move away from the edge; I'd hate for you to fall off the bed," he says quietly. He tries to keep any kind of edge from his voice, but it comes out a little ardent anyways.

Craig doesn't move. "Why the fuck are you fucking touching me; I swear to fucking God I will beat the ever loving shit out of you; what the fuck do you think you're fucking doing?" he rants, extremely uncomfortable in the other's embrace.

Kenny's brows lift into his bangs. Is that Craig's nervous voice? "You talk big, but I don't think you'll actually hurt me for this," he challenges. He's not sure how confident he is about it, but if Craig really does try to beat him he can escape to the safety of the downstairs couch. Pressing his luck, he snuggles his nose into the back of Craig's neck.

Craig tenses and hesitates to respond. Kenny usually knows his boundaries, and now that he's crossed them, Craig isn't sure what to do with himself. "Are you sure? Because your face is about to make good friends with the sidewalk," he says, trying to gain back some of his composure with a usual threat.

Kenny scoffs. "My face has already met the sidewalk and they're even dating. It's Facebook official," he says, successfully deflating Craig's threat. "Now unless you actually have a worthy opposition to this…" he trails off as he slides his nose towards Craig's ear and gives it a teasing flick with the tip of his tongue.

Craig flinches and mentally screams at himself, but finds himself unable to worm out of Kenny's grasp. It's like some kind of weird mental trap that leaves Craig completely immobilized.

He knows what he _should_ do. Craig _should_ shove Kenny off of him. He _should _turn around, grab Kenny's dick (not in a good way) and threaten to rip it off if Kenny ever touches him again. He _should_ throw Kenny out and tell him to find someone else to stay the night with.

He _should_ know better than to let that shiver run down his spine when Kenny licks his ear.

Kenny knows he's won some kind of victory when Craig doesn't speak. He uses the arm wrapped around Craig's waist to flip him onto his back. Craig just stares up at him, his eyes struggling to remain hard but falling to confusion. Kenny smiles down at him, as if to say _Don't worry, you won't regret this, I promise, I'll make you feel good_. He wonders if Craig gets the message.

Craig continues to remain silent, deciding that when the butterflies stop and the anger starts up again, _then_ he'll kick Kenny in the balls. Stupid mother fucking goddamned ass ramming butterflies.

Kenny kisses just below Craig's ear, and then begins a trail of dry kisses down to Craig's neck. When he reaches Craig's collar bone, he teases it with his tongue before bighting down lightly. Craig's breath catches in his throat and he momentarily forgets how to breathe at all. Kenny begins to suck on the small patch of skin and Craig clutches the hair at the back of Kenny's head with his fingers.

Why is he letting Kenny do this? Why isn't he punching Kenny in the face? Why is it getting harder to breathe? _Why is he letting Kenny do this?_

Kenny leaves a scattered trail of small bites up Craig's neck and back to his ear. "Looks like someone ran out of things to say," he says. It's almost a whisper, but louder, with a hint of laughter. Craig scowls at the taunt, but remains silent. He's afraid to say anything, lest he say something stupid.

Kenny giggles at the continued silence, taking that as an okay to continue what he's doing. He latches onto Craig's neck one more time, this time aiming to leave a mark. He sucks hard, teasing the skin with his teeth.

Craig struggles not to give in, to not make a sound. His body tenses with the effort. Kenny can feel Craig's body tense, and he smirks, letting go of Craig's neck with a slick _pop! _He knows he's golden now; Craig's _body_ wants this, even if Craig's _mind _doesn't, and that's all that matters.

Craig sees Kenny's smirk and scowls up at him. "What?" he spits, uncomfortable under the blonde's stare. Those hooded eyes are _really _unnerving, like they can see exactly what Craig is thinking. Craig isn't exactly proud of what he's thinking, so this is not okay.

Kenny doesn't respond to Craig's question. He leans down, slowly, _oh so slowly_, staring Craig in the eye as he moves. The speed of Kenny's decent mixed with the intensity in Kenny's eyes is like torture on Craig's psyche. He _knows_ what Kenny is going to do, and he's _not stopping it_. It's making Craig nearly squirm with anticipation; and he's not sure if it's good or bad anticipation.

Kenny finally touches down, his lips connecting with Craig's. For a second, neither of them moves; Craig too shocked and Kenny waiting to get hit. When the later doesn't happen, Kenny lets his eyes fall shut and actually kisses Craig.

Craig blinks a few times, just staring at Kenny's closed eyes. He can feel Kenny's lips move against his own, but he's too conflicted to respond. Is he even okay with this? Since when is it okay for Kenny to kiss him? Since when does he kind of maybe sorta _want_ Kenny to kiss him?

Kenny feels an honest, however small, pang of disappointment when Craig doesn't kiss back. He pulls his face away and looks at Craig, not sure of what to do if Craig isn't going to participate.

Craig takes one look at Kenny's dampened features and feels a little guilty. Kenny decides to try one more time, thinking that maybe Craig was just scared and needed another chance.

Kenny is fucking delighted when he discovers that he's correct. Craig's hands are suddenly in Kenny's hair, and they're engaging in a _mutual _kiss. Kenny is goddamn _ecstatic_ with this new development.

Excited, Kenny tries going for the next step and licks at Craig's lips. Craig doesn't even consider it before he complies, Kenny's tongue sliding easily into his mouth. What Kenny discovers makes him pause and break out into the smuggest smirk he's probably ever worn. "You're not wearing your retainer," he says, smugness completely evident in his voice.

Craig stutters a "Well, I-!" before stopping and looking off to the side. Craig is_ not_ blushing. He's _not_, okay?

Kenny takes extreme pride in this moment. Has anyone else ever made Craig act this way? Kenny never expected Craig to be this embarrassed over something so trivial. He leans to the side to get level with Craig's turned face. He allows his lips to hover close to Craig's as he speaks, "Don't be shy, Craig. I know it; I'm irresistible. It's okay to think so."

Craig glares at Kenny, not enjoying the look of superiority on Kenny's face. As much as he doesn't want to admit that he actually wants Kenny, this thing where Kenny is being dominate is _not okay_. With a new found determination, Craig grabs Kenny's face in both hands and smashes their lips back together.

Craig uses his body weight to swap their positions, flipping Kenny onto his back. Pleased with this, Kenny wraps his arms around Craig's neck and allows himself to be dominated. He makes a happy noise and parts his lips when Craig's tongue presses against them.

It isn't long before clothing starts hitting the floor. They're panting, shirtless, and working frantically on each other's pants, when-

"Craig!"

The two boys freeze in their spots. They turn their heads toward the harsh whisper to see Ruby standing in Craig's doorway.

"I swear to God, if I have to listen to this all night, I will _end your lives_. If you're going to fuck, either do it quietly or wait until no one's home," she says, glaring at the both of them. "Jesus fucking Christ, learn some fucking respect…" she mumbles as she walks away, slamming the door quietly enough to not wake their parents.

After a moment of silence, Kenny laughs. "Wow, what a mood killer," he says, making sure to be quiet enough so Ruby won't hear through the apparently thin walls. Craig flops onto his side in agreement, completely turned off to the idea of anything sexy. "But hey," Kenny continues, voice dropping to a more sultry level, "in the morning, she'll be at school and your parents will be at work…"

"We'll be at school, too, r-tard," Craig says. He's rolled over and pulled the covers up to his neck again. Kenny rolls his eyes.

"Well, we were up late _studying_ and we'll be late. Or something like that," Kenny says, curling up behind Craig again, burying himself in the blankets at Craig's back.

"Shut the hell up and go to sleep," Craig says, done with the conversation.

Kenny smiles and closes his eyes, looking forward to the morning to come.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't even question the fact that Craig was highly out of any character headcanon, haha. I just used this whole fic as an excuse for Kenny to tell Craig not to put his retainer in because it would only get in the way and for Craig to be like "Get in the way of what?" That was seriously the whole plot of this story. OTL<strong>

**Plus, I roleplay Craig, and we have (had?) this **_**Tweek {-} Craig {- Kenny**_** thing going on and Kenny's jealousy is totally killing me bloody, so I had to fix it with this to make myself feel better about it, hahaha. x.x (Kenny and Craig got in a fist fight, and I was like NO OMG WHY CAN'T WE JUST LOVE EACH OTHER NO NO NO /sobs. Not that any of you care, or read these comments. xD)**

**I also realize that I never wrote Kenny brushing his teeth, but he did it earlier, after they ate or something. The only real reason I point this out is because poor dental hygiene really, **_**really**_** disgusts me and I didn't want Craig making out with an unbrushed mouth. Dx**

**I was going to smut it up, but I got really upset with my own writing with this and I realized that it wasn't worth saving; so enjoy the Ruby because I LOVE HER. d: This story was just… WOW, awkward. I couldn't find the right words, buuuuuu.**


End file.
